Why Quantum Weirdness?

My thoughts on a possible explanation as to why quantum particles are in multiple states at once is simply due to their foreignness to 3 dimensional laws.  Our laws in physics are based on a 3 dimensional perception of what is reality.  The quantum world is not governed on these laws and principles because they belong to a higher dimension of reality.  To envision this in a 3 dimensional reality, I think of a piece of thread woven through piece of cloth several times as a person would do to create a piece of needlework.  The cloth is our 3 spatial dimensional world.  We only observe the string as it contacts our piece of cloth, so that to us it appears that the string is in many different locations at once.  This is probably not the best way to explain this idea but it was the best I could come up with this late at night. 

Changes

It is hard for me to believe how much I have changed throughout my life.  I am weary of change, honestly.  There is no stability in my life.  I feel like I'm constantly walking on a wire or hanging on to a cliff by a string.  The saddest part is, is that I am so utterly alone.  I am very tired and I hurt most of the time, and there is no one here to comfort or care. I wonder how much if not all of this is self-induced, like I just wanted to be alone so I could die in peace without worrying about hurting anyone or causing any sort of unnecessary pain, but it would still not be right. I feel like I am falling apart and it is SO hard to care enough to do anything to change.  I am in a constant battle with me and I just don't know how it is going to pan out.  I always hoped when I was younger that I would meet a man who was strong and determined, who would pull me out of this nightmare life and make me feel confident, like there were things worth caring about, especially myself, or things worth doing or living for, but of course, those were all just fairy tales.  It would not be fair to put that sort of expectation on any person, nobody wants a broken girl.  Sometimes things happen to a person that breaks them and sometimes these things are accumulative and so many awful things happen in so many different ways, that it is no longer worth risking anymore hurt.  It is a matter of self-preservation, both physical and emotional.  I got to a point where feelings became too dangerous for self preservation and now I don't feel anything.  I am some sort of ice queen, cold and distant.

I don't want to risk hurting of hurting anyone else.  My mind and my body are weary and the only thing I still enjoy is learning.  Just strict logical reasoning to solve problems and discover the truths of existence and everything.  That is all I want to do.  I don't have the ability to care about human things anymore as I feel I have basically nothing in common with pretty much everyone and I have absolutely nothing to offer in any sort of romantic relationship.  I don't feel or care, but yet I don't want to cause anyone else pain or let anyone suffer, because I know what that is and what it does.

I am very tired as I usually am.  I like sleeping when I can so I don't have to face what a wretched, bitter woman I have become.  The normal things in life are not enough to me.  I can never run far or fast enough to escape the nightmare that is my life.

Using Teleportation to Eradicate Disease, Aging, and Death

What it means to be human can be revolutionized using teleportation.  Basically we are just big bags of information when you get down to it, from our cells to out DNA to our genes, our memories, our thoughts, our feeling, etc.  Teleporting involves copying all the information that makes up something or someone, destroying it in one place and recreating it in another.  

It could be possible that while a person's information is in a "suspended" state, the information causing the illness, aging, or death could be "fixed" or modified so that when a person is recreated, the problems he or she had have been fixed, good as new...or probably much better.

Now to be on the safe side, before starting the teleporting process, a back-up copy can be made, much like you would back-up your I-Pod or computer files, so that if there is an error during the process, you still have the back-up file to start over when the errors have been adjusted.  

Dreams of My Brother

I terribly miss my brother, Sam.  It has been about two years since his suicide.  He was the smarter of us, the better of us, and I always was in fierce competition with him as a child.  We fought bitterly over whose favorite animal was the best.  Mine was the Blue Whale and his was the Seismosaurus.  He suffered bitterly with his demons, schizophrenia, was beyond what anyone should have to endure.  Tormented all his life, roller coaster ride from hell between bouts of extreme medication to extreme bouts of insanity.  In and out of mental facilities, without any competent parents to help him.

I was deployed to Iraq on my second tour and Sam sent me an email.  He said he was going on a trip and left a note for the landlord to take care of Wilbur II, his beloved guinea pig.   I felt this was odd behavior and assumed poor Sam was going through another bout of insanity, maybe off his meds.  He moved from Ruidoso to Carlsbad where he had spent most of his life.  He said that my sister and mother were driving him nuts.  Poor thing.  My mother will have nothing to do with me since childhood and my sister goes through random cycles where she is somewhat friendly and somewhat not.  We have a complicated relationship, if you can call it a relationship.

Sam died.  He had gone quite a while without his meds and I guess his illness was spiraling out of control again.  He called my Dad who wasn't much help and told him to take his meds and come paint his garage.  My brother took more of his meds than was prescribed perhaps in an effort to quickly quiet the voices and the tormenting thoughts.  He had not slept in 3 days.

He painted my dad's garage but decided he wasn't well and had to go to the hospital.  My dad told his wife, Stacy to take him.  Stacy suffers from epilepsy and I am not sure how "with it" she is, although she seems pretty nice for the most part.  They were driving by the flumes and my brother wanted out.  She pulled over but before she could park the car, Sam was on top of the flumes laughing.  It was windy and Stacy thought he might have just fallen.  But Idk, he had tried suicide earlier that year so I don't know.  He laughed and then fell head first.  Stacy could not do anything but scream.  Another car stopped to help.  He was taken to the hospital where he soon died.  And so ended my dear friend and brother's life.

I wish it had been me, instead.  It is a selfish wish.  I hate the world without Sam.  What is the point?  Our childhood was a living hell and with his  mental disorder I think it must have been even worse for him.  Nothing I do means anything as I have failed him.  He always treated me well and always tried to take care of me.  I was not there for him.  I was playing in the sandbox on the other side of the world.  I know what it is to hurt, and to be alone, and to feel utterly hopeless.  I miss Sam dearly and I often hope that I will not have to wait very long to be with him, and I pray dearly that his demons have not followed him into the next world, whatever and wherever that is.  He remains in eternal free-fall in my heart and has yet to hit the ground.  I cannot let him go.

Membrane Collision? Big Bang Initiator?

     So I was reading one of my astronomy books and it was just going through a brief synopsis on  a proposed theory that our four dimensional spacetime was created due to two five dimensional   membranes colliding.  I had read about the "Brane Theory" awhile back, but this was the first time I read that the branes involved were each five dimensional.

     My first thought was, "Why five?"  Hmmm, sounds like wifi LOL.  No, that wasn't it, of course,  No, my thought immediately were the five dimensions are used to fit into M-theory, which is the collaboration of the previously separated five string theory models.   M-theory requires 10 dimensions of space and one of time. Which the proposed number of dimensions in the branes implies that the branes do not have a time dimension, which is hard to imagine.  But you know what John from the Beatles says, "It's easy if you try."  Anyway, sure enough I read a bit online and the data I read said that the "M" in M-theory was believed to stand for membrane theory, but Witten has never confirmed why he called it M-theory.

     This made me feel rather silly, realizing that the theory, M-theory, allowed for strings and membranes all this time, and I had to figure it out this way!  Anyway, one more thought on why is was dubbed "M-theory".  Witten's theory showed that all proposed versions of string theory were really the same one.  The letter "M" has five points but they are all part of the same letter.  That was my guess for a possible reasoning in the name.  Anyway, I really need to try to sleep, now.  Good night!

Motion Sickness Upgrade

Motion Sickness is a song I have heard pretty frequently at my job.  It is played several times a day at my retail job.  Most of the songs played are hardly an upgrade from elevator music as far as I am concerned but one of the songs I actually liked, liked not loved.

It actually has lyrics.  Songs stopped having lyrics in the 90s.  Now they have one word, phrase, or sometimes a whole sentence that is repeated over and over again, usually to music created by some sort of computer program.  I am not anti-technology.  I love it, but I am anti-anti-creativity and anti-anti-imagination.

Anyway, I had to look up the song and the lyrics since I had no idea what it was.  I think the band was called Hot Chips or Hit Chips or something like that.  Please don't sue me.  I have no money.  Anyway, the lyrics were a disappointment, as I appreciated the lyrics that I thought I heard better.

The version I heard really "struck a chord" with me.  LOL  Anyway, they reminded me of my late brother and me growing up, especially in the second verse, so without further ado, here are the lyrics to the second verse as I believed they were meant to be:

'Remember when we both found out the world is hell, the world is hell?
'Remember when we both found out the world is hell, the world is hell?
Everything lost, everything lost of my dreams.
Everything lost, everything lost of my dreams.
I am only reaching out for you,
I am only reaching out to you.'

Thoughts on Love and Life

I don't know how most people experience love and life.  Mine seems to have been somewhat unconventional.  When I was younger, I lived for love and love met everything.  Now there is no love left, but here I continue to live on.  When I was young, I did not think I would live to be an adult, and I didn't really.  I no longer resemble anything of my former self.  I died awhile back.  Now I avoid humanity like the plague (and they pretty much are).  I know, I know, so pessimistic, Debbie Downer.  For you young people that is a reference to Satuday Night Live (Old School).

Anyway, as I was saying love ruled my life and now has no place in it.  What does it mean to really be alive?  I don't think I qualify, and it is hard to care one way or the other.